13 Truths About Pelvic Health, Healing, and Being A Woman
A Reflection for Women’s Health Month
As I navigate the various stages of life as a woman, I can't help but reflect on the fact that there is a lot that we're not taught about our bodies that may have been helpful to know—and a lot that we're taught about being a woman that is not helpful at all.
The expectations of how we're supposed to look and what we're supposed to achieve are high. The expectations about how we are supposed to feel in the natural functions of our bodies and phases of our lifespan are, sadly, low. Finding our way amidst the lack of research in women's health specifically and the volume of online advice can be a lot when you are struggling in your health and your life.
So, from my experience in healing and my training as a pelvic floor and Myofascial Release therapist, here are a few things I want you to know—in no particular order:
1. Your period does not have to suck. It is our power, not our punishment. Tension and holding within the pelvic floor and abdomen can be part of the unpleasantness of it and the pill is not the only option to help.
2. Peeing your pants is common, but not normal. No matter your age or if you've had a baby, it does not have to be your permanent situation.
3. It's not all in your head. Whatever you are experiencing, just because the tests say there is nothing wrong, something can still be not right. Everything that happens to us leaves an imprint on our bodies and fascial restrictions are not visible on standard imaging.
4. “Getting older” is not a diagnosis. While it is an inevitable part of living, it does not automatically have to mean decline.
5. Your body is not a problem. No matter how it feels. No matter how it looks. It needs your compassion, not your judgment. There is no one standard that we all have to meet.
6. You are more than the roles that you play and you are worthy of the same level of care that you give to others. The less time you have for self-care, the more you need it, and rest is a requirement, not a reward.
7. Pelvic floor symptoms such as pain or incontinence are just as likely to be caused by tension as weakness. You need to have a pelvic floor assessment to know what is the proper direction of treatment for you, as kegels may actually make things worse if your pelvic floor is already tight.
8. You are not broken. No matter what has happened to you. Even if you feel like you are falling apart, the pieces are all still there.
9. You can heal—even if you don't have a diagnosis. While it is prudent to rule out all of the scary possibilities (and I would never discourage you from doing that), know that it is possible to find solutions, even when you have not found answers. Your symptoms are your signal, they are not your story.
10. Feeling heard and supported is not too much to ask in any medical situation or in any relationship.
11. Even the little wins are worth celebrating. Every time you take a breath instead of reacting. Every boundary you set. It's all progress. You are doing it. There are aspects of healing that do not immediately feel better, but they are still important steps.
12. There are layers to pain and tension. There are many versions of trauma that we carry in our bodies and, sometimes, specifically in the pelvic floor. It is possible to feel like yourself again. Unpacking and reconnecting is a process.
13. Self-compassion is Queen. Every stage of life that throws you into upheaval brings the opportunity to know yourself more deeply and express yourself more fully. When you remember how to feel, you remember who you are.
Navigating any health situation can be frightening, frustrating, and confusing. Even more so when it is happening in an area of our bodies that we have not learned much about and from which we often feel disconnected. Approaching the journey from curiosity and taking a holistic view is helpful. Finding the balance between seeking answers from others and tapping into our own wisdom is part of the dance that we learn to do as we go.
It can feel like a lot to consider and it can be hard to know where to start. When it feels overwhelming, remember that it is okay to ask for help. And if you have not yet found the help you need, my goal is for you to not lose hope. Be gentler with yourself when it comes to those external expectations and unwavering in what is possible for your health.
Book a consultation with Shannon Stoby, Registered Physiotherapist, Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist, & Expert MFR Practitioner.